Breach of Trust

My wife and I recently visited a church in Hawaii where baby dedications were being performed. I’ve observed many such celebrations at the churches we’ve attended throughout our marriage and both of our children were dedicated as infants. The ritual has almost become perfunctory for me as the various pastors speak about the “gift” God has given the new parents. Although I have no quarrel with our children being gifts from God I was struck by this minister who spoke of “God entrusting this child to the parents and the congregation.” Maybe others from the pulpit had used the word “entrusted” but my mind raced as I distinguished between receiving a “gift” and being “entrusted” with one.
We all receive gifts, especially at this time of year. We are asked what gifts we want and ponder what gifts to give. If you’re like me, a few gifts will be cherished but most soon forgotten. If the gifts have financial worth but are not truly appreciated, they might be “re-gifted” and many eventually hit the Salvation Army donation bag or the trash. Other than personal keepsakes, few gifts have any real meaning. To receive one takes no effort on our part and isn’t really valued because we did so little to earn it.
But “entrusted” implies an obligation. If we are entrusted, we are delegated and assigned responsibilities. We understand a duty exists to care for and even nurture until the owner seeks its return. We as parents, we as members of the congregation, have been entrusted by God with this child. We owe a duty and an obligation to cherish, protect, and encourage.
Recently the news has been flooded with stories of rape, child abuse, and molestation…a former assistant football coach at Penn State, an assistant basketball coach at Syracuse University, a Hollywood talent agent for child stars. All were entrusted with children by parents expecting these adults to safeguard and promote the best interests of the children. If the news reports are correct these men failed miserably and criminally.
I’ve read little about the victims and don’t pretend to speak for them. A year ago I shared my undercover experience with a post so I won’t repeat it now except to say as an undercover FBI agent one of my many assignments included infiltrating NAMBLA (the North American Man/Boy Love Association), a group of men sexually attracted to boys. I spent three years in the organization in an undercover capacity. I corresponded with more than 150 men in prison and met face-to-face with dozens of members still out on the street. I interacted with Mensa members and the illiterate, doctors and blue-collar workers, millionaires and welfare recipients. We eventually convicted eight members of the group’s inner circle…a psychologist, a dentist, a minister, school teachers, a personal trainer, and a laborer. Because I was “one of them,” these men shared parts of their lives which they would never discuss with their attorney or court-ordered counselor. The men told me how and whom they seduced. Again, I am confident there are exceptions and maybe the victims in the recent news accounts fall within the exceptions but as to my NAMBLA undercover experience, I know of no boy who came from a home with a strong, loving father figure who was successfully targeted by a NAMBLA member. In fact the NAMBLA members told me they pursued those boys seeking a father figure, either boys from a home with an absent father or an abusive father. These “persuasion predators” sought out the vulnerable and began the grooming process. In many cases, as can be seen by their professions, the men targeted children “entrusted” to them by parents. These men breached that trust and as a result were criminally punished. But some of these children were placed in a position to be violated because the parents failed to understand God “entrusted” not “gifted” the child.
Much has been written and will be written about the men charged or implicated in the recent child abuse scandals. We can hope the judicial system works as the usual questions are asked in the media…why would men do such things? What type of depravity sexually exploits a child? Why wasn’t more done to protect the children? But maybe the question we should also be asking is how much better would this world be if we viewed children as God’s children “entrusted” to us rather than “gifts” which we seem to either accept or discard?